To Step Up or Not to Step Up

To Step Up or Not to Step Up

So first there was an email from the federation, the Ontario Teachers' Federation, asking for retired teachers to volunteer to help boards meet the commitment to provide teachers to teach online.  The Federation made it clear that they were looking for anyone practically who was willing to step up to the plate.  Then, today in the papers, there were articles about the search for teachers to meet the demands required by the pandemic and the number os kids learning online.  I felt badly in a way because I have the skills needed and required. No too ways about it.  A huge part of name loved the classroom and loves the idea of working with kids online.  But, then I started to think about it and realized that I am already, believe it or not, 20 years beyond retirement age of all the classroom teachers. No doubt there are lots of teachers around who are way younger than me.  But the big issue is not age but willingness. I have spent a lifetime giving of myself to various things and always putting my own interests on the back burner.  I spent so much time in front of students and working online with students, that I didn't read, I didn't watch movies, I didn't exercise, and so forth. I ran from one activity to another and denied myself rest and relaxation.  I just don't want to do that any more.  I haver t o fight with myself continuously and remind myself that it is not being selfish to want to NOT work even part time. I would rather work on my interests and write my next book and sell my current book than parcel out time to work in front of students.  I'd love to be a consultant and help others in developing and refining the skills necessary to be successful, but there again I would have to divide myself into little pieces.  So, in the end, I just said no to myself.  I am watching from the sidelines to be sure, but not interested in getting my toes dirty in the water. I have to constantly remind myself that I am entitled, because there is more than a little bit of guilt involved in what I am doing.  But in my old age, I want to have fun and leave myself open to new experiences and nothing more. So I wish the boards good luck and watch with interest.